Thank you so much for visiting the blog, for your comments and encouragement.
I am glad to announce that we have moved.
Visit www.stayhealthwise.com
You wont miss a thing!
Monday 15 April 2013
The Good Times Are Here
Hello Everyone,
Thank you so much for visiting the blog, for your comments and encouragement.
I am glad to announce that we have moved.
Visit www.stayhealthwise.com
You wont miss a thing!
Thank you so much for visiting the blog, for your comments and encouragement.
I am glad to announce that we have moved.
Visit www.stayhealthwise.com
You wont miss a thing!
Friday 12 April 2013
Beware of Dog
I had a childhood fear of strange dogs. We had dogs in my compound but that did not help my fear especially when one of the dogs we had went "wild".
At the slightest provocation Skipper would bark and wail for hours. He even attacked the person feeding him. It was then my fear multiplied. I would imagine several scenarios in my head, none pretty.
We had to get rid of Skipper. My fears also never became a reality, though i wonder from time to time.
What do you do when cornered by a dog?
Understand dog body language - most dogs will show specific warning signs before biting.
If you are cornered by a dog, remain still and avoid eye contact. Never run and/or scream. When the dog stops paying attention to you, slowly back away.
If knocked over by a dog, fall to your side in a fetal position, covering your head and neck. Remain very still and calm.
Never approach a dog that is eating, sleeping or caring for puppies. Dog in these situations are more likely to be protective and can become startled.
With some dogs simply facing the dog with a loud, deep-throated confident “NO!!!!” will often be enough to stop the dog in its tracks. Most will turn and leave. The fact is these are not strong dogs that want to fight a human, they are weak dogs who show aggression, because they have learned that aggression makes people leave them alone. Dogs from this category that don't turn and leave will stand off and bark. Dogs like this are the ones who have the hair up on their back as they approach, they may (or may not) show a lot of teeth. Their body posture is not forward, they will stand with their feet apart.
No matter how scared you are, you can't out run a dog, and running will only trigger prey drive and increase the possibility of an attack and being bitten.
Another group of dogs, (those that know how to fight humans), are a different situation. Mostly guard dogs or trained attack dogs. The only way to deal with an attack from these dogs is to climb a tree or fight them.
I would not suggest fighting with any dog but a tip that may help is to cut off air supply ( by choking).
If anyone that is reading this article lives near aggressive dogs, always carry pepper gas and a walking stick. In fact, if you have to walk by a house or apartment with aggressive dogs, get it out and have it in your hand. If an attack comes you will not have time to fish around in your purse or pocket.
Be Safe.
At the slightest provocation Skipper would bark and wail for hours. He even attacked the person feeding him. It was then my fear multiplied. I would imagine several scenarios in my head, none pretty.
We had to get rid of Skipper. My fears also never became a reality, though i wonder from time to time.
What do you do when cornered by a dog?
Understand dog body language - most dogs will show specific warning signs before biting.
If you are cornered by a dog, remain still and avoid eye contact. Never run and/or scream. When the dog stops paying attention to you, slowly back away.
If knocked over by a dog, fall to your side in a fetal position, covering your head and neck. Remain very still and calm.
Never approach a dog that is eating, sleeping or caring for puppies. Dog in these situations are more likely to be protective and can become startled.
With some dogs simply facing the dog with a loud, deep-throated confident “NO!!!!” will often be enough to stop the dog in its tracks. Most will turn and leave. The fact is these are not strong dogs that want to fight a human, they are weak dogs who show aggression, because they have learned that aggression makes people leave them alone. Dogs from this category that don't turn and leave will stand off and bark. Dogs like this are the ones who have the hair up on their back as they approach, they may (or may not) show a lot of teeth. Their body posture is not forward, they will stand with their feet apart.
No matter how scared you are, you can't out run a dog, and running will only trigger prey drive and increase the possibility of an attack and being bitten.
Another group of dogs, (those that know how to fight humans), are a different situation. Mostly guard dogs or trained attack dogs. The only way to deal with an attack from these dogs is to climb a tree or fight them.
I would not suggest fighting with any dog but a tip that may help is to cut off air supply ( by choking).
If anyone that is reading this article lives near aggressive dogs, always carry pepper gas and a walking stick. In fact, if you have to walk by a house or apartment with aggressive dogs, get it out and have it in your hand. If an attack comes you will not have time to fish around in your purse or pocket.
Be Safe.
Thursday 11 April 2013
Worst Case Scenario
I had passed the final stage of the recruitment exercise for a firm in the country. I had gone for the aptitude test and the oral interview.
I received a call from Human Resources telling me that i had to undergo a medical screening before resuming at my station. I knew i would be required to do a HIV test. I had done the tests thrice in my life at that time, i was anxious. I started thinking, searching my memory for instances and scenarios where i might have exposed myself to the virus since my last test. Had i been promiscuous in the last few months?
I brushed those thoughts aside and went for the test. I enquired from those already working at the firm what the procedure was. They said i would be asked to resume a week after the test.
A week passed,no word from the firm.
Two weeks passed no word.
The terror that overcame me i cannot describe.
I decided to take the bull by the horns, i called the firm....
The HR Manager apologized for not following due protocol. She decided not to contact me till the following week which was two weeks before i indicated i would be available to start work.
Relief washed over me.
I requested for the test results for assurance. I was in the clear.
In my moment of terror, i had made inquiries as to what to do in the unfortunate event i was HIV Positive. This may be of help;
A positive test result can be very scary; the emotions one feels ranges from shock and anger to hopelessness and denial. These feelings can be felt all at once, or at different times.
Being HIV positive changes your life completely, however there is no need to panic. Do try to take control of the situation. First, decide on positive things to do for the rest of the day, stay busy and life goes on.
A positive result is an important medical message that may help save or extend one's life span. Your counselor, nurse, doctor or care giver may have told you the implications of the result and the next steps for you. Given the right attitude and adequate information, most people live long, productive lives. Getting information and taking charge of your health will help you make the best of your situation.
Reading about HIV and AIDS is a good first step, so you are already on the right path. Go to a nearby organization where counseling services are available to get more detailed information. You can get in touch with the State Ministry of Health, or contact your State Action Committee on AIDS (SACA) who will give you a list of NGOs and People living with HIV support groups closest to you. The National Action Committee on AIDS (NACA) has provided some toll free lines you can call for enquires or more information 234-0802-719 2783 (NACA).
Do not keep your HIV status to yourself, it is a heavy burden to carry alone. Talking about your status with another person will help you deal with the test result. Join a support group. Other people living with HIV will understand you best because they have gone through the same stage you're at. Listening to them talk about their experiences will answer many of your questions. You will gain confidence and have fewer doubts.
A positive test result is life changing; you must begin to make a conscious effort to adopt a positive attitude to life. Eat healthy, eat as much as you want, you can eat all the foods you have eaten before, only now you have to eat regularly and your diet has to be balanced. Include fruits and vegetables in your diet, drink lots of clean water and try as much as possible to avoid alcohol and smoking because excess alcohol damages your liver and smoking destroys the lungs. If stopping all together is difficult, gradually reduce your intake till you can stop. You should stop taking recreational drugs like hemp and heroin.
Go out, relax with friends and family and take regular exercise. It is also important that you protect others from getting infected; protect your sexual partner by using a condom correctly and consistently. It is important that you disclose your HIV status to your spouse or sex partner so they can get tested and also begin to take care of themselves. If you cannot tell them directly, ask your doctor or counselor to help you. Some people have written anonymous letters to their past sexual partners asking them to get tested and directing them to places they can get help, this is better than not saying anything.
Not telling them and waiting till their immune system is destroyed and they start getting ill or even die is not a good thing to do.
When ill, most of us wait till the situation becomes unbearable before seeking medical attention. In HIV infection, the immune system starts to break down immediately, and not just when opportunistic infections show up. So you have to keep an eye on the health of your immune system.
Noticing the symptoms when they occur, getting prompt treatment and having laboratory tests done, can help you monitor and manage the health of your immune system.
Using Highly Active Antiretroviral Therapy (HAART) can greatly reduce the level of HIV and slow the rate of the disease progression.
There are several approaches that you can take against HIV All are useful but using any of them alone is not enough to keep you healthy. The best overall approach for you may be one that combines the best of the approach listed below.
Positive living
Good nutrition
Use of supplements and vitamins
Use of prophylaxis
Treatment and management of Opportunistic Infections
Use of Anti Retroviral Therapy
excerpts culled from www.nigeriahivinfo.com
I received a call from Human Resources telling me that i had to undergo a medical screening before resuming at my station. I knew i would be required to do a HIV test. I had done the tests thrice in my life at that time, i was anxious. I started thinking, searching my memory for instances and scenarios where i might have exposed myself to the virus since my last test. Had i been promiscuous in the last few months?
I brushed those thoughts aside and went for the test. I enquired from those already working at the firm what the procedure was. They said i would be asked to resume a week after the test.
A week passed,no word from the firm.
Two weeks passed no word.
The terror that overcame me i cannot describe.
I decided to take the bull by the horns, i called the firm....
The HR Manager apologized for not following due protocol. She decided not to contact me till the following week which was two weeks before i indicated i would be available to start work.
Relief washed over me.
I requested for the test results for assurance. I was in the clear.
In my moment of terror, i had made inquiries as to what to do in the unfortunate event i was HIV Positive. This may be of help;
A positive test result can be very scary; the emotions one feels ranges from shock and anger to hopelessness and denial. These feelings can be felt all at once, or at different times.
Being HIV positive changes your life completely, however there is no need to panic. Do try to take control of the situation. First, decide on positive things to do for the rest of the day, stay busy and life goes on.
A positive result is an important medical message that may help save or extend one's life span. Your counselor, nurse, doctor or care giver may have told you the implications of the result and the next steps for you. Given the right attitude and adequate information, most people live long, productive lives. Getting information and taking charge of your health will help you make the best of your situation.
Reading about HIV and AIDS is a good first step, so you are already on the right path. Go to a nearby organization where counseling services are available to get more detailed information. You can get in touch with the State Ministry of Health, or contact your State Action Committee on AIDS (SACA) who will give you a list of NGOs and People living with HIV support groups closest to you. The National Action Committee on AIDS (NACA) has provided some toll free lines you can call for enquires or more information 234-0802-719 2783 (NACA).
Do not keep your HIV status to yourself, it is a heavy burden to carry alone. Talking about your status with another person will help you deal with the test result. Join a support group. Other people living with HIV will understand you best because they have gone through the same stage you're at. Listening to them talk about their experiences will answer many of your questions. You will gain confidence and have fewer doubts.
A positive test result is life changing; you must begin to make a conscious effort to adopt a positive attitude to life. Eat healthy, eat as much as you want, you can eat all the foods you have eaten before, only now you have to eat regularly and your diet has to be balanced. Include fruits and vegetables in your diet, drink lots of clean water and try as much as possible to avoid alcohol and smoking because excess alcohol damages your liver and smoking destroys the lungs. If stopping all together is difficult, gradually reduce your intake till you can stop. You should stop taking recreational drugs like hemp and heroin.
Go out, relax with friends and family and take regular exercise. It is also important that you protect others from getting infected; protect your sexual partner by using a condom correctly and consistently. It is important that you disclose your HIV status to your spouse or sex partner so they can get tested and also begin to take care of themselves. If you cannot tell them directly, ask your doctor or counselor to help you. Some people have written anonymous letters to their past sexual partners asking them to get tested and directing them to places they can get help, this is better than not saying anything.
Not telling them and waiting till their immune system is destroyed and they start getting ill or even die is not a good thing to do.
When ill, most of us wait till the situation becomes unbearable before seeking medical attention. In HIV infection, the immune system starts to break down immediately, and not just when opportunistic infections show up. So you have to keep an eye on the health of your immune system.
Noticing the symptoms when they occur, getting prompt treatment and having laboratory tests done, can help you monitor and manage the health of your immune system.
Using Highly Active Antiretroviral Therapy (HAART) can greatly reduce the level of HIV and slow the rate of the disease progression.
There are several approaches that you can take against HIV All are useful but using any of them alone is not enough to keep you healthy. The best overall approach for you may be one that combines the best of the approach listed below.
Positive living
Good nutrition
Use of supplements and vitamins
Use of prophylaxis
Treatment and management of Opportunistic Infections
Use of Anti Retroviral Therapy
excerpts culled from www.nigeriahivinfo.com
Wednesday 10 April 2013
Do Some Sexual Positions Make it Easier to Get Pregnant?
Do Some Sexual Positions Make Conceiving Easier?
While not a lot of people will agree that the sexual positions have anything to do with getting pregnant, the logic is that there are certain positions that can help the sperm meet the egg in a shorter time.
This is especially true for couples who have difficulty conceiving. Having said this, the first "best position to get pregnant" tip is to avoid positions that least expose the cervix to the male sperm, and that generally defy gravity such as sex while standing up, sitting down, or with the woman on top. When trying to conceive, it is best to limit the amount of sperm that flows back out of the vagina.
The woman's hips should also be positioned in such a way that the sperm released is kept inside, giving it enough time to swim up to the female cervix.
Consider the following positions instead:
1. The missionary position. Or man-on-top is said to be the position that's best for getting pregnant. This is because this particular position allows for the deepest possible penetration, making it possible for the sperm to get deposited closest to the cervix.
2. Raise the hips. Elevating the hips, which can be done by placing a pillow behind her, can also be helpful because this exposes the female cervix to as much semen as the male can release.
3. Doggy-style. The rear-entry position where the man enters the woman from behind is also a recommended position. In this position, sperm is also deposited closest to the cervix, thereby helping increase the chances of conception.
4. Side-by-side. You can also try having intercourse while lying side by side. This position likewise causes the most exposure of the cervix to the male sperm.
5. Orgasms. Finally, while this has nothing to do with sexual positions, there are also researches that suggest the importance of the female orgasm in conceiving. According to studies, female orgasm leads to contractions that could push sperm up into the cervix. The lesson: have fun while trying to conceive.
There a small variations you can add to the positions listed above
1. Relax; Try Oral Sex.
Each partner can take turns lying back while the other partner performs oral sex. Lie back and enjoy the stimulation. Also a heady rush or thrill is felt by most people if the partner performs oral sex on their knees.
2. Missionary
Do not just lie back,
Tighten buttocks
Put your legs together to increase surface stimulation
Use hands and mouth to explore
Wrap legs around partners' waist to deepen penetration
Lie back a few minutes after
3. Doggy Style
Be creative.
Explore each other with hands and mouth
Introduce toys ,If you are into that.
Reach Down and Stroke testicles
4. Always have fun.
Watch this space for more tips and tricks.
Image from www.indianexpress.com
While not a lot of people will agree that the sexual positions have anything to do with getting pregnant, the logic is that there are certain positions that can help the sperm meet the egg in a shorter time.
This is especially true for couples who have difficulty conceiving. Having said this, the first "best position to get pregnant" tip is to avoid positions that least expose the cervix to the male sperm, and that generally defy gravity such as sex while standing up, sitting down, or with the woman on top. When trying to conceive, it is best to limit the amount of sperm that flows back out of the vagina.
The woman's hips should also be positioned in such a way that the sperm released is kept inside, giving it enough time to swim up to the female cervix.
Consider the following positions instead:
1. The missionary position. Or man-on-top is said to be the position that's best for getting pregnant. This is because this particular position allows for the deepest possible penetration, making it possible for the sperm to get deposited closest to the cervix.
2. Raise the hips. Elevating the hips, which can be done by placing a pillow behind her, can also be helpful because this exposes the female cervix to as much semen as the male can release.
3. Doggy-style. The rear-entry position where the man enters the woman from behind is also a recommended position. In this position, sperm is also deposited closest to the cervix, thereby helping increase the chances of conception.
4. Side-by-side. You can also try having intercourse while lying side by side. This position likewise causes the most exposure of the cervix to the male sperm.
5. Orgasms. Finally, while this has nothing to do with sexual positions, there are also researches that suggest the importance of the female orgasm in conceiving. According to studies, female orgasm leads to contractions that could push sperm up into the cervix. The lesson: have fun while trying to conceive.
There a small variations you can add to the positions listed above
1. Relax; Try Oral Sex.
Each partner can take turns lying back while the other partner performs oral sex. Lie back and enjoy the stimulation. Also a heady rush or thrill is felt by most people if the partner performs oral sex on their knees.
2. Missionary
Do not just lie back,
Tighten buttocks
Put your legs together to increase surface stimulation
Use hands and mouth to explore
Wrap legs around partners' waist to deepen penetration
Lie back a few minutes after
3. Doggy Style
Be creative.
Explore each other with hands and mouth
Introduce toys ,If you are into that.
Reach Down and Stroke testicles
4. Always have fun.
Watch this space for more tips and tricks.
Image from www.indianexpress.com
Tuesday 9 April 2013
What are your eyes saying?
Eye symptoms and signs
What are your eyes telling you?
You may have noticed my fixation on eyes. Well my eyes are my most prominent feature and it is hard to imagine a world without them. It is the most delicate part of our body. Pay careful attention and take care of them.
Eye symptoms: Burning eyes
"My eyes burn."
Often, burning eyes are due to some type of irritant - be it a cosmetic or skin care, chlorine from a swimming pool, or environmental irritants like cigarette smoke or smog. Seasonal allergies or allergies to dust or pet dander may also cause eyes to burn or itch, as can infections like conjunctivitis (pink eye). Dry eyes can also cause a burning sensation.
Eye symptoms: Itchy eyes
"My eyes itch."
Itchy eyes could be due to eye allergies (allergic conjunctivitis), which are usually temporary and accompanied by other allergy symptoms, like stuffy nose and sneezing. The things that commonly cause eye allergies are similar to those that cause nasal allergies - pet dander, dust, pollen. Allergic reactions to other irritants, like perfume or cosmetics, can cause similar symptoms.
Itchiness may also be a result of inflammation of the eyelids (blepharitis) or of the lining of the inner eyelid (conjunctivitis or pinkeye).
Eye symptoms: Red eyes
"My eyes are red."
Like itching and burning, red or bloodshot eyes can be triggered by infections. Conjunctivitis is the inflammation of the lining of the eyelids and eye surface that can be caused by infection or allergies.
Injuries can also make your eyes red. Dust and sand can get into the eyes and cause small abrasions that lead to redness.
Eye symptoms: Dry eyes
"My eyes are dry."
Your eyes become naturally drier as you get older, but dry air and sun exposure can sap the lubrication from your eyes at any age. Dry eyes may get worse if you smoke or if you are around second-hand smoke. Cold and allergy medications also commonly cause dry eyes. Prolonged dryness can lead to abrasions on the surface of the eyes.
Eye symptoms: Watery eyes
"My eyes are watery."
Watering up is a way the eyes defend themselves against infection and irritation. The viruses and bacteria that lead to conjunctivitis or blepharitis, for example, commonly trigger eye watering. So do allergic reactions to dust, mould, or animal dander. And if something gets into the eye - like sand, wind, or smog - the eyes water to force the foreign item out.
Eyes may tear up during strain of overuse or when laughing, yawning, or vomiting.
Ironically, one of the most common causes of watery eyes is dry eyes. Dry eyes trigger the body to produce excess tears to lubricate the eyes.
Eye symptoms: Eye pain
"My eye hurts."
Eye pain can be caused by a number of factors and can feel like a dull aching or throbbing, or it can feel sharp and stabbing. Sharp pain may indicate a problem with the cornea (such as an infection or ulcer), while severe, deep, aching pain could be a sign of glaucoma. Pain frequently accompanies conjunctivitis (pinkeye), and a stye can be uncomfortable to the point of pain as well. If you have been overusing your eyes, you may experience eyestrain. And the pain from migraines or sinus problems sometimes affects the area around the eye.
What are your eyes telling you?
You may have noticed my fixation on eyes. Well my eyes are my most prominent feature and it is hard to imagine a world without them. It is the most delicate part of our body. Pay careful attention and take care of them.
Eye symptoms: Burning eyes
"My eyes burn."
Often, burning eyes are due to some type of irritant - be it a cosmetic or skin care, chlorine from a swimming pool, or environmental irritants like cigarette smoke or smog. Seasonal allergies or allergies to dust or pet dander may also cause eyes to burn or itch, as can infections like conjunctivitis (pink eye). Dry eyes can also cause a burning sensation.
Eye symptoms: Itchy eyes
"My eyes itch."
Itchy eyes could be due to eye allergies (allergic conjunctivitis), which are usually temporary and accompanied by other allergy symptoms, like stuffy nose and sneezing. The things that commonly cause eye allergies are similar to those that cause nasal allergies - pet dander, dust, pollen. Allergic reactions to other irritants, like perfume or cosmetics, can cause similar symptoms.
Itchiness may also be a result of inflammation of the eyelids (blepharitis) or of the lining of the inner eyelid (conjunctivitis or pinkeye).
Eye symptoms: Red eyes
"My eyes are red."
Like itching and burning, red or bloodshot eyes can be triggered by infections. Conjunctivitis is the inflammation of the lining of the eyelids and eye surface that can be caused by infection or allergies.
Injuries can also make your eyes red. Dust and sand can get into the eyes and cause small abrasions that lead to redness.
Eye symptoms: Dry eyes
"My eyes are dry."
Your eyes become naturally drier as you get older, but dry air and sun exposure can sap the lubrication from your eyes at any age. Dry eyes may get worse if you smoke or if you are around second-hand smoke. Cold and allergy medications also commonly cause dry eyes. Prolonged dryness can lead to abrasions on the surface of the eyes.
Eye symptoms: Watery eyes
"My eyes are watery."
Watering up is a way the eyes defend themselves against infection and irritation. The viruses and bacteria that lead to conjunctivitis or blepharitis, for example, commonly trigger eye watering. So do allergic reactions to dust, mould, or animal dander. And if something gets into the eye - like sand, wind, or smog - the eyes water to force the foreign item out.
Eyes may tear up during strain of overuse or when laughing, yawning, or vomiting.
Ironically, one of the most common causes of watery eyes is dry eyes. Dry eyes trigger the body to produce excess tears to lubricate the eyes.
Eye symptoms: Eye pain
"My eye hurts."
Eye pain can be caused by a number of factors and can feel like a dull aching or throbbing, or it can feel sharp and stabbing. Sharp pain may indicate a problem with the cornea (such as an infection or ulcer), while severe, deep, aching pain could be a sign of glaucoma. Pain frequently accompanies conjunctivitis (pinkeye), and a stye can be uncomfortable to the point of pain as well. If you have been overusing your eyes, you may experience eyestrain. And the pain from migraines or sinus problems sometimes affects the area around the eye.
Monday 8 April 2013
Motivation Mondays
Too Many Days At A Time
There are two days in every week about which we should not worry. Two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.
One of these days is yesterday, with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday. We cannot undo a single act we performed. We cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone!!
The other day we should not worry about is tomorrow, with its possible adversities, its burdens, its large promise and poor performance. Tomorrow is beyond our immediate control. Tomorrow's sun will rise, whether in splendor or behind a mask of clouds. But it will rise. Until it does we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is yet unborn.
This leaves only one day: today.
Any man can fight the battles of just one day. It is when you and I add the burdens of two awful eternities - yesterday and tomorrow, that we break down.
It is not necessarily the experience of today that disturbs one's peace of mind. It is oftentime the bitterness for something which happened yesterday and the dread of what tomorrow may bring.
Let us therefore live one day at a time.
Have a great week.
There are two days in every week about which we should not worry. Two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.
One of these days is yesterday, with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday. We cannot undo a single act we performed. We cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone!!
The other day we should not worry about is tomorrow, with its possible adversities, its burdens, its large promise and poor performance. Tomorrow is beyond our immediate control. Tomorrow's sun will rise, whether in splendor or behind a mask of clouds. But it will rise. Until it does we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is yet unborn.
This leaves only one day: today.
Any man can fight the battles of just one day. It is when you and I add the burdens of two awful eternities - yesterday and tomorrow, that we break down.
It is not necessarily the experience of today that disturbs one's peace of mind. It is oftentime the bitterness for something which happened yesterday and the dread of what tomorrow may bring.
Let us therefore live one day at a time.
Have a great week.
Sunday 7 April 2013
The Big O
Female Orgasms: Myths and Facts
Anorgasmia
Definition: Anorgasmia is an inability to reach orgasm and is thought to occur in about 10% of women. Anorgasmia may be either primary (the woman has never been able to reach an orgasm by any means) or secondary (an orgasm was experienced at some point in the past). It may also be global (orgasm is not experienced by any means) or situational (orgasm may be experienced in certain sexual situations but not others; for example, with manual stimulation but not with intercourse).
There are several myths regarding orgasm. These myths can sometimes cause problems for women and their partners.
Myth:
An orgasm is always an earth-moving experience and there is something wrong with a woman if she is unable to reach orgasm.
Fact:
Some women have orgasms and don’t know it. Some women do not experience orgasm in the sense of feeling their pelvic floor muscles contract. They do however reach a peak of arousal after which they feel very relaxed and contented, the same feelings other women experience after orgasm. By contrast, women who get very aroused and do not experience orgasm will sometimes feel "nervous" or "edgy" or even an aching discomfort in their pelvis.
Myth:
"Normal" women reach orgasm through intercourse.
Fact:
Only about a third of women experience orgasm regularly during intercourse. A third can reach orgasm with intercourse but need extra stimulation. A third never achieve orgasm during intercourse but can by manual and oral stimulation. Having orgasms by means other than intercourse is a normal variation, it could just be your thing. Different routes to the same destination.
Myth:
Inability to reach orgasm, or anorgasmia means a woman is "frigid" or that there is something seriously wrong with her or her relationship.
Fact:
Women who were able to have orgasms in the past but can no longer do so may be suffering from a medical problem or a side effect from medication.
Women who have never had an orgasm may never have learned what does it for them. What kind of stimulation or how long they have to be stimulated for.
Myth:
If a woman cannot reach orgasm, then her partner is not a skillful lover.
Fact:
While there are many ways a skillful partner can help a woman reach orgasm, in the end, a woman is responsible for her own sexual pleasure. Don't be shocked, that does not mean her partner should not be involved. It is up to the woman to tell her partner what she likes and dislikes. What she wants to try etc.
Myth:
A woman has to have an orgasm in order to enjoy sex. This myth seems to be more common among men than among women.
Fact:
Many women enjoy the closeness and physical intimacy of sex and are satisfied even if they do not, or do not always, have an orgasm.
What can you do?
Relax
It is possible to try too hard. Focus on enjoying the process, not on whether or not you will have an orgasm.
Communicate
Communicate with your partner your preferences when it comes to sex. Your partner cannot read your mind.
Encourage
If you or your partner are doing something you like encourage with words, sounds, body language.
Enjoy
Learn to enjoy and feel comfortable with your sexuality.
Fantasize
Some women have trouble concentrating during sex. If that is the case, you may wish to fantasize, i.e., thinking about something sexual may excite you and may reduce negative emotions. alternate tightening and relaxing your pelvic floor muscles. This may sometimes trigger a real orgasm.
Arouse
For some couples, love making ends once the man ejaculates. Often, at this point the woman is very aroused. If this is the case, you might ask your partner to continue stimulating you with his hands or his mouth once he is finished. Give your partner the chance to please you!
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